“Eureka!”

 

     “Oh, Harry, not again.”

 

     “What do you mean ‘not again?’    Lois, it would make me very happy if you encouraged my creative talents instead of depreciating my efforts to contribute to a world that is struggling to survive and will undoubtedly lose the battle unless men of intellect rally to the cause.”

 

     “You’re absolutely right, Harry, and I do admire your creativity.  I’ll never forget the ‘martini olive spear with a ‘pusher’.  It wouldn’t save the world, but it could have prevented many a palate from being punctured had you been able to attract some venture capital.

 

     “But, do me a favor; do not use the word ‘eureka.’  It sets my teeth on edge.  That expression was attributed to Archimedes when he discovered a method to quantify the purity of gold.  As good as you are, Harry, you’re not in the same ball park as Archimedes.”

 

     “I’m amazed at the things you know, Lois, but not surprised.  It gives me pleasure to know that your marriage to me has been a learning experience for you.

 

     “.I’ll not use that word again; let’s start all over.”

 

     “Okay, Harry.  I’m all ears.”

 

    “Aha!  Lois, you’re going to love this.”

 

     “Oh Harry, I don’t know how you do it, but obviously you’ve come up with another original idea.  Tell me about it.”

 

    “Lois, you’re overdoing it but it’s a step in the right direction.  Listen carefully and try to be objective.  The idea actually started to form in my mind when I decided, despite the rain, to work out at the

Fitness

Center.  I had hoped the rain would end before I arrived at the Center, but if anything, it was raining harder.  I don’t mind getting wet, but I’m always concerned about the damage rain water would do to my hearing amplifiers. As is my practice, I removed the hearing aids, placed them in my pocket and dashed from the parking lot to the protection of the Club’s canopy. Removing the aids diminishes my hearing considerably which, under certain conditions, could be dangerous.  Moving automobiles, for example, are a constant hazard since I am not able to hear their horn’s honking..

“Behind me, I could hear the labored breathing (and it was loud) of a fellow member, running in the same direction toward the canopy.  As he passed me I could see his long hair dripping rain, hanging over his face, blocking his vision.  It was a ludicrous sight and I had to laugh because it reminded me of Cousin It.”

     “Come on, Harry, aren’t you exaggerating.  Nobody has hair like Cousin It.”

 

     “Lois, you know me better than that. I don’t exaggerate unless it is about my record as a successful entrepreneur, my prowess as an Olympic class gymnast or my mastery in predicting market trends.  OK, on occasions I have exaggerated about my academic records, my amorous adventures (prior to meeting you, of course) and friendship with people in high places.  And then, of course…..”

 

     “Alright, Harry, I haven’t got all day.  If you want me to hear about your latest ‘invention’, stop this nonsense and tell me the details.

 

     “Let’s go back.  When this guy with hair like Cousin It ran past me, it was at that moment that it occurred to me that there was a need for an inexpensive disposable device that would be conveniently available  to protect one’s head and ears against rain. Sure, everybody keeps an umbrella in their car and yes, I know about Hoodies, but this kind of stuff becomes a burden and an inconvenience when you arrive at your destination.”

 

     “Harry, I have news for you.  There is such a device; it’s called a ‘rain bonnet’.”

 

     “The bonnet is old hat, Lois.  If you’re interested in haute couture, then what I call the ‘Boca Hood’ fits the bill.  This simple but practical device is made using a gallon size ZIPLOCK* bag and…”

 

     “Thank God, thank God.”

     “I don’t understand, Lois.  Why are you thanking God?”

 

     “Oh, Harry, if you only knew the anguish I’ve been going through.  I thought I was losing my mind.   I bought three boxes of ZIPLOCK* bags this month, and they all seemed to have disappeared. I felt sure that my memory was failing, never suspecting that you were involved.”

 

     “You should have asked, Lois.  Now may I continue?  (Harry puts on Boca Hood) What do you think of this?”

 

     Lois looks carefully at the Hood.  “Is this going to cost us any money?”

 

     “No.  Anybody who reads my story will use their own ZIP LOCK* bag and make their own Hood.”

INSTRUCTIONS FOR MAKING A ‘BOCA HOOD’:  (1) Lay the Zip-Lock* bag down on a flat surface, Zip Lock on top  (2)Cut or slit open the entire bottom (parallel) edge.(3)Slit or cut open the side perpendicular to the Zip-Lock* Congratulations, you have just created The Boca Hood which can be worn two ways (to protect the face or to protect the back of the head. 

     “That’s great.  Harry, now, for the first time, I understand where your ideas are coming from.  When were you exposed to the influence of Chindogu?”

 

     “A what?”

 

     “A Chindogu.  It’s a Japanese word that signifies a worthless invention which is not put to use.  The Boca Hood doesn’t qualify since you intend to use it for a practical purpose, but it’s close and I congratulate you.”

 

     “I hardly agree with you that this idea is worthless, but I’m not going to argue the point with you.  Where did you hear about Chindogu?

 

 “Oh, I don’t think this is the time or place to discuss my ‘learning experiences’ Harry, but it was a long time ago.  Let’s put this story to bed and hope that your readers will find it interesting.”

 

READER REACTION: 

A letter signed by a Vice President in Charge of Public Relations for  S. C. Johnson & Co., expressing appreciation for the kind words describing the  utility and economy of ZIP-LOCK* Bags, included a 30 cent discount coupon to be applied for the purchase of 1 box of bags.  In the upper left hand corner of a 3” x 5” index card, stapled to the letter, the instructions ‘SEND THIS WACKO OUR COCKROACH LETTER.’ 

A letter from an angry reader threatening legal action:  “…I decorated by Boca Hood using an oil base paint.  You knew or should have known that rain water would cause the paint to run.  Unfortunately the paint ran down my neck staining my Brook Bros.  Blazer.  I am turning this matter over to my attorney because of the humiliation I suffered and for the ruination (sic) of my cashmere jacket.”

 

A phone message from the wife of Harry’s attorney:  “Regarding the matter of the ‘angry reader’s threat of legal action’, perhaps you should seek another attorney since, unfortunately, I am unable to communicate with my husband.  It’s a peculiar situation; when I do speak to him, he doesn’t hear me.  When I am not speaking (perhaps reading the newspaper), he hears my voice and will ask me to repeat what I said.  This new phenomenon commenced about the same time he lined your Boca Hood with neoprene foam rubber.  Our family therapist believes that is merely a coincidence of no significance.  If I can persuade him to remove that ridiculous hat from his head, I will have him phone you.”                                                                                                                                       *  Registered S.C.Johnson & Son, Inc.